Fur trapping brutality
Fur trapping started a long time ago in the 16th century and was considered cruel in the 1900s, but the torture hasn’t stopped. Since then many more fur farms have started, holding hundreds of animals to kill for their fur. The animals are bred in large quantities and after adulthood are killed for the varieties of fur types and styles. In these farms the workers show no compassion towards the animals, instead they treat them with cruelty so that they don’t get emotionally attached to them. These animals include; foxes, minks, dogs, cats, rabbits, raccoons, and many more.
(narrative)
Fur trapping brutality
Fur trapping started a long time ago in the 16th century and was considered cruel in the 1900s, but the torture hasn’t stopped. Since then many more fur farms have started, holding hundreds of animals to kill for their fur. The animals are bred in large quantities and after adulthood are killed for the varieties of fur types and styles. The animals are taken out of the cage, and whacked in the head to kill it. Once they are killed they’re skinned and the rest of the carcass is thrown away while the fur is put up for sale. It takes about 40 minks to make one fur coat. There are other ways of capturing animals such as traps in the wild. Animals that accidently get captured in the trap are killed and thrown away. These animals are called trash animals.
(Descriptive)
Fur trapping brutality
Fur trapping started a long time ago in the 16th century and was considered cruel in the 1900s, but the torture hasn’t stopped. Since then many more fur farms have started, holding hundreds of animals to kill for their fur. The animals are bred in large quantities and after adulthood are killed for the varieties of fur types and styles. These animals are treated with cruelty and brutality. It takes 40 minks or 30 raccoons to make one fur coat. Faux fur on the other hand does not use any real animal fur, and does not inflict pain on animals in anyway. People also don’t have allergies to those fur coats because its fake.
(compare/contrast)
The premise of these leads are good, however it would probably be a good idea to include some examples in your leads, like a fur farm's name, location, and some kind of shocking statistic about it. That would be much more convincing and would draw the reader in more. Also, watch out for grammar mistakes, as they can quickly detract from the readers thought of your credibility.
ReplyDelete--C. Polohas
Wow! Akshara! You're sick and you still posted your leads! I am mucho impressed! I think that the last one is the best, though maybe you could leave some of the fatcs for your body paragraphs and focus on the emotion in your lead. Like, tell a really sad story about a specific animal being slaughtered. Maybe give him a name. That would make me really sad and really interested.
ReplyDelete:Deborah